Ever since then, I have just written it off as something that I can’t do – the whole getting up early thing, in order to work or have “me” time. Crazy that I assumed that it would still not work for me without even giving it another shot. I was afraid I would let myself down if I tried again because for some reason I feel like if I do something, I should make it a routine and do it everyday. Not sure where that came from.
3 weeks ago I gave it another shot, with some changes. At 5:30am I went straight to my teakettle, and with tea and water canteen I headed to the studio to paint. Tiptoeing on the quietest feet, so as not to wake the sleeping children upstairs.
From the first quiet sip of tea, I knew I would like this. I painted silently for nearly an hour before I heard the first yawn and stretch of my soft warm boys upstairs. I finished a painting, and finished another one the following day (I had two that I was having trouble putting the finishing touches on during the busy days).
Another difference about this new try is that I am giving myself permission to miss a day – if I am up in the middle of the night more than once with my kiddos, I give myself permission to turn off the 5:40am alarm. Because I am being kinder to myself, I am finding that I look forward to standing at the sink while my wonderful electric teakettle works for me – quickly steaming me up a serving or two of tea water.
This experience has been eye-opening for me. Getting my “me” and quiet time out of the way early helps me to be a better mom during the day. Getting some painting or writing (I’m writing a book, but who isn’t?!) done early helps me feel some success.
above image: Pause